


No-one Nose

by deannatroiswife



Category: Despicable Me (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Don't Read This, F/M, Freezing a waiter, Fucking nose, Strap in for a wild ride, absolutely atrocious, nose fucking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:08:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23741323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deannatroiswife/pseuds/deannatroiswife
Summary: Gru and Lucy have a chance to escape the kids and the minions.This is truly and deeply awful so apologiesIronic but I literally love it
Relationships: Felonius Gru/Lucy Wilde
Comments: 12
Kudos: 9





	No-one Nose

**Author's Note:**

> Lord forgive me

Gru and Lucy had been married for a fair few months now. The girls had adjusted to her presence soon after she moved in, and they all had their family dynamic sorted out. Things were going smoothly. The only issue was that, considering the age of the children (as well as the constant presence of the minions), Gru and Lucy had very little time to themselves. However, this weekend they had been presented with an opportunity. Gru's mother was in town on some 'business' that she had failed to disclose, and was staying with her son. After an hour or so of convincing under the pretense that Gru and Lucy were required at a very important meeting in a secret, far away location, the old lady had agreed to watch over the children for a few days. This gave the couple an opportunity that had never arisen before.  
'So...' said Gru suggestively as they lay in bed that night. 'Where shall we go for our ʼTop Secret Meetingʼ?'  
Lucy giggled and rolled over to face him.  
'I think we can figure something out, as long as our schedules align'.  
They both laughed, and then immediately shushed themselves to ensure that they hadn't awaken any of the girls.  
'Once my mother arrives tomorrow,' , Gru whispered into her ear, 'I will take you out on the most romantic night of your life'.  
Lucy smiled and planted a kiss on Gru's nose before rolling back over.  
...  
The minute Gru's mother arrived the couple where quick to say their goodbyes and hurry out of the door, managing to contain their laughter until they were in the car. They were both in very formal dress as to not raise suspicion due to their alleged destination.  
'Where to, Mr. Gru?', Lucy asked in a sultry tone.  
'Well, we might as well take advantage of our fancy attire' 

They spent the evening in a rather high end restaurant, drinking wine and laughing. Perhaps a touch too much wine, as the people on the neighbouring tables began to give them strange looks, to the point where one called over a waiter, very obviously to complain about the noise they were making. While the waiter was occupied dealing with the elderly lady's complaint, Gru spoke to Lucy in a hushed tone.  
'What do you say we get out of here?'  
Lucy raised her hand to signal the waiter but Gru grasped her wrist. She shot him a surprised look.  
'They already have an issue with us, let's give them something to really complain about.'  
Lucy looked shocked, it had been a while since she has seen this side of her lover, but she eventually nodded in agreement and allowed Gru to lead her towards the exit by the wrist he was still holding. They moved quickly but they still managed to alert an employee, who began to chase after them. He was right on their tail and as they reached the door Gru span around and pulled his freeze gun out of his inside pocket, freezing the man where he stood allowing the two to make their escape.  
Once they reached the car, Gru started it and they screeched down the road.

After a moments silence, Lucy said in a low voice, 'That was... Unexpected'  
Gru swerved round a sharp corner.  
'I missed that side of you.', she continued, 'Where are we going?'.  
'We need a place to stay the night, don't we Baby?'  
Her face flushed a deep red and she felt a grin twisting at the ends of lips. Eventually the car pulled up to a rather skanky looking Motel.  
'It's the only place nearby', Gru said, answering Lucy's internal question. He retrieved their bag from the boot, allowing his flexing biceps to show through his tight suit jacket. Lucy fiddled with end of her short dress. 

They walked into the lobby. It was pretty unremarkable, they got their key and entered the battered lift. Lucy glanced up at her husband to see him already staring down at her with a smile on his face and hooded eyes. While the spark was still very much alight in their marriage, they had become familiar with the gentle and exploratory aspect of their sex life and they both craved the next level. Her hand unconsciously reached for his toned arms and he exhaled softly. She stretched up to kiss him and felt his hot breath on her lips. Right as they were about to connect, the lift bell sounded and the doors slid open. The tension in their bodies eased as they tore themselves away from each other, pacing silently towards their room.

Gru unlocked the door and it creaked open.  
'Home sweet H-'  
Lucy tackled him onto the bed, which groaned in protest, breathing heavily as their lips locked together. He quickly adjusted to what was happening and dropped the bag, running his hands down her slim frame. He reached her perky ass and squeezed it, giving it a firm slap. She jumped slighty, and he pulled away.  
'We can be as loud as we want.' He murmered, giving her a look to request her consent. She nodded and in an instant he slipped out from under her, leaving her on her hands and knees on the old motel bed. She heard Gru slam the door shut and before she had processed what had happened, his hand came down hard on her round ass, creating a resonant slap. She yelped slightly but felt a wetness begin to grow between her legs. He repeated twice more, and she winced, preparing for another impact but none came. Instead she felt his hands run gently over her back, unzipping her strapless dress which fell away from her, allowing her modest breasts to hang below her. 

He gently grasped them, massaging. He brushed his thumbs over her now hardened nipples, which made her subtlety hitch her breath, which Gru picked up on. He did it again, this time applying more pressure so she couldn't hide her reaction. She exhaled strongly and bit her lip. Her dress began slipping further down her body as Gru pulled, and she readjusted to allow him to pull it completely off and cast it aside. He let out a low laugh upon seeing that she wasn't wearing underwear. He then withdrew his hands and Lucy could hear him readjusting. They were silent for a few seconds, until Lucy felt her lover's tongue brush against her folds. She gasped and he let out a low growl. He began licking around her entrance, causing Lucy to moan quietly. Rather suddenly, she felt something long and pointy enter her. It felt amazing but she couldn't figure out quite what it was, until she heard Gru say, 'You're so tight!', in a nasally voice.  
His nose thrust in and out of her, stopping only to take a deep whiff of her ginger pussy. She moaned loudly, gripping at the bed sheets. Gru's tongue then began to lick Lucy's clit, which quickly sent her tumbling over the edge, her juices flooding over Gru's face as waves of pleasure crashed over her. He slowly withdrew, reaching for his handkerchief to blow her pussy liquid out of his nostrils.

Once she had gathered herself, she turned around to face her husband, who was grinning widely at her. She giggled. 'Okay! My turn.', She exclaimed, pulling him onto the bed and standing over him. She began unbuttoning his shirt, pulling off his tie and his jacket, purring as she did so. He felt a bead of sweat trickle down his face, and Lucy must have seen it as she picked it up with her finger and sucked it off. Gru helped her to remove the rest of his clothing, finishing with his boxers which she pulled off quickly, causing his humongous cock to flop out - flicking a stream of pre-cum at her. The sight of how hard he was made Lucy blush as she licked the liquid off her face.

She took his dick in her hand, pumping it up and down with a slow rhythm. Gru inhaled sharply, leaning back and gripping the bed sheets. She began licking his tip, loving the salty taste. After this got a good reaction from her lover, she moved her head further down, taking his tip in her right nostril. Gru looked down and almost laughed at the notion, but instead moaned at how good it felt. Lucy continued with a regular rhythm, pumping with both hands and pushing his tip into her huge nose. 

I didn't take long before he began to climax, screaming her name as he emptied his juice into her nose, which she snorted and swallowed with gusto.  
After he came down, they looked at each other for a moment before bursting out into laughter. Lucy crawled on top of her husband and he held her tight towards him. 'I love in you so much.', he hummed.  
'I love you too, honey.' she replied. They both drifted off to sleep entangled in each other, their heartbeats synchronized.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry


End file.
